“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
How many people do you know around you who are full of self-confidence? The healthy type not the arrogant one. Well, I don’t know too many of them. Most of us lack self-confidence or at least at some part of our lives. For example you might be really confident in your work, but you lack it in your private life, when you go on a date.
It’s key that you ask yourself how to gain self confidence, as it can hold you back from setting challenging goals and building a life you truly desire. If you don’t believe that you can do it, that you are capable, that it’s possible, who will?
When I started to work on getting to know myself better at the beginning of my self-discovery journey I remember I was looking for an answer. I started to go backwards and was trying to find out where do all my problems lead to. If I solve this one thing, than majority of my pain points will be gone. This is when I realised that everything goes back to being self-confident. If I truly trust myself and think that I am always doing the right thing, I will be able to achieve anything I truly desire. I also understood, that next to rational arguments about why I should feel self-confident (like skills, professional background I have etc.), there is something much more powerful: love. If I truly love and accept myself my confidence will grow.
So here’s the simple exercises on how to gain self confidence :
1) List out 30 things that are your strengths!
One of the most basic self-improvement tools I know, but also one of the most powerful one. People get really surprised after finalising the list. Almost everyone has doubts finishing it, 30 seems a lot, but in the end I’m sure we could write even more. In the beginning we want to list out huge accomplishments and once we realise that even small things can be X-factors in our life we get more confident.
List out everything: skills, characteristics, professional background, life experiences, anything that makes you a better person!
2) List out 10 things you achieved in your life that you are really proud of!
Close your eyes and think about what makes you really proud. Believe me you could write even a 100. How about learning to talk and walk? I know that is not something that people are proud of. But we all should be. It was a really tough task and it took us years to accomplish!
So what is it? Raising your kids, running your business, losing weight, becoming a good person, supporting others? List out everything!
3) Create your own positive affirmation!
Positive affirmations are a great way to reprogram your mind and teach yourself a positive belief. My favourite is: I love and accept myself. I have a healthy self confidence.
You just have to repeat it as much as possible until it becomes your reality. Word your own affirmation and use it anytime low self-confidence pops up to stop you from taking action!
4) List out 5 goals you’d set for yourself if your confidence grew by 30 %!
If you lack confidence, you are probably not setting challenging goals for yourself as your are afraid, you think it’s not possible to achieve them. Let’s say your fairy god mother increased your confidence level by 30 %.
What goals would you set for yourself then?
5) Get out of your comfort zone!
I got out of my comfort zone when I quit my corporate job and went traveling for a while. I wanted to prove to myself, that I’m brave enough to follow my dreams. It was really scary and my confidence was really low, I thought I won’t be able to do it. But once I made the move I got much more confident.
You don’t have to take such a huge step. Just do something that you’ve never done!